ode to faulenzen

Mentally exerted, I have neglected this space for a while. It is a dire consequence of a busy life, that things like “optional” blogging start to suffer.

How am I? Well.

Read that as you will, I’m well as in healthy, happy and humoured, but I’m also well, you know.

Also, in less than two weeks, I will be 25. Twenty-five, a quarter of a century old. That is a milestone.

Amongst the joys and woes of turning another year older, I always find myself turning backwards to see how far I’ve come. The trials and tribulations that have made me who I am as it were. Both distant and recent, there has been events that have shaped who I have become and who I will be. Petty things and things of massive effect. I’ve written about these plenty of times, but I haven’t written about writing.

I said earlier in the year that I was using this space as a means to constantly develop my writing. Fact is, I’ve not written anything in ages. There’s been two reasons for this. One, I haven’t made the time. Two, I’m searching for the reason why I’m still doing this. This blog didn’t start over a year ago just as a random decision to spout my verbal dirge. I started because I needed an outlet for my thoughts, during one of the most difficult phases of my life ever. I noticed just now, looking through the archives, that I actually only outwardly mentioned it once (see play hard). That was after the event. But writing here was an escape from the difficulties I was facing at the time and it really did help. Once that was over, I carried on writing because I felt the need to comment on political / social, religious or mostly racial issues. I should still be doing that really, my wife can vouch for the fact that I’m still moaning about them all. Now, I keep trying to work out what my reason for writing is. I don’t technically need a reason, but I’d like one.

I have been writing posts, but each time I have, they haven’t been post worthy. They have been art-sy pretentious drivel. Honestly. When you start writing metaphors à la 18th Century Romanticists you are being pretentious. Fact. I lacked purpose, so the action of thinking was being sieved through a veil of Keatsean murk.

So, new reason. I’ll post the oldies amongst some newies. I’ll tell you a bit more about me, I think. We’re definitely due some “memories” posts, and I need. To. Make. More. Lists. Perhaps I’ll through in some thoughts on purchases. Ooh, perhaps a taste review of a few hardy ales. Obviously that will take some time, as I have to sample them first. Defining this reason will take some time. And beer.

Overriding any real reason however, is the prevailing mindset. I should be writing to avoid “faulenzen”, a German word roughly equating to the art of slothing about your life rather than actually getting on with stuff. So, aside from trying to abate a certain Mancunian, I am writing to not be lazy. And because, lets face it, you’re worth it.

careering off the road

Life sometimes likes to beat around the bush. I however don’t.

I want a job. I want a job that suits me. I want a job that I can enjoy, without it devouring my life inside out. I want a desk, a computer. I want to sit and type dribble. Or drivel. Generally I want to just show the world that I am probably worth paying some money.

It seems however, that in some overblown humongous conspiracy, that the world has a different plan. Mother Earth, in her wrath, has chosen to commit the mass population to a recession just to spurn my applications. She has spread viral influenza to pretend that she is trying to make it easier for me, but I know her game. She herself has been recruiting. She’s hired Fate. He’s trying to impress the new boss, and so Mother Earth and Fate have had a board meeting.

The agenda?

Will Rimmer’s career.

Mother Nature hammers the table. “This man must be stopped!”

She points at a file including pictures of a young male, who is dashing in a subtle way. (He’s also written that he’s confident, motivated and ambitious. Application forms…)

Fate humbly nods, picks up the phone and says simply “It’s on.” The boys acknowledge the message, and head to the cars.

Since that moment, I have had opportunities, but in Fate’s clasps, I have seemingly been a victim of the tides of employment (Waaah sympathy! Fret not, it’s not required).

I love German. I love writing. I’m a communicator. I’m punctual. Today? Oh, that was the M25′s fault. Apparently Fate decided to drive to the office via a very big fence in the middle of the road. (If you were the person that crashed, I hope you’re ok, but really? Today? There?).

That being said, I do enjoy attending interviews. The nosy Englishman inside me likes to look at how the offices have been decked out, how people interact, what they like people visiting to see. Of the places I’ve been to, Rockstar’s office was the most amazing. Although the signature by the door says that I cannot tell you about it, for fear of Tommy Vercetti turning up on my doorstep, knocking, then raping and shooting me. I don’t want to be shot. Or raped.

One thing I can never tell is how I perform. Aside from the whole Yes / No reply system, I can’t really gauge how I react in the moment. Today’s interview went well I think, but only if the secretary has a say in the recruitment process. Banter was had like no banter before. I love being connected to so many different countries on one continent. Europe is fantastic because there are so many different people and cultures sharing a space that is easily traversable. It’s joyous to meet and chat with people who have had experiences so different that E.T. would seem like a next door neighbour.

…

Career ranting aside, life goes well. I keep contemplating dreaming that a career in blogging is a real possibility. But of the sites that I’ve looked at so far, I’m not enthralled at the idea of paying to be paid. Sorry subscription services. Me no like.

Although joining BlogCatalog has been a real eye opener for me: I truly am small fry in the world of blogs and life documentation. There’s people on this site who’ve been doing this years, who have advertisements and awards for their blogs. What do I have? An all time high of 25 views on Tuesday. For me that was headline news. That’s more people reading my blog than real life friends contacting me (erm… is that a good thing?!). It also means that there are people other than my Mum reading this so thank you all (Ugh, and you too Mum, thank you).

Leave a comment now, and I’ll lend you cash when I’m famous.

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And finally, in a swift Have I Got News For You-esque comedic type finale, my only remaining appointment today is with my wife’s coworkers and an oh-so-friendly pint of the local ale. For Fate and Mother Nature have chosen to allow me to earn a living.

By attending pub quizzes.

Wish me luck.