railroad ranting explained pt.2

Brief introduction: these are the spoutings of a tired and grumpy individual sat on a busy train upon an evening. The comment shall be presented in full then critiqued à la style academic, admittedly with liberal use of the personal pronoun thrown in for the sake of confusion. This is part two of two.

…

Address to the corporate whingers

(Those who hate the capitalist latte)

So you hate the corporation, those that destroy your small-town independent coffee wishes?

I ask you one question, what generated their rise in precedence in the first place?!

Fact of the matter is that their (un)ethical practices will go further for fairtrade farming than your condescension ever will. ‘Bucks on your campus? Because there was a demand for it. For every pretentious “I hate Starbucks” supposedly “indie” coffee lover, there are probably twenty people who really just want a cup of coffee, regardless of where it is from. Your “hate it all” attitude solves nothing. All it does is tell us that you judge every ‘bucks consumer to the point of sad loathing because they engage in the act of satisfaction so joyfully.

Let it be.

Rargles. (ed: very unintelligible scrawl, could be Rangle, Rargls, Reargls. Any which way, I think it is more of an exclamation than an actual word)

If you hate capitalistic ideas and lifestyles so much, go find yourself a friendly little commune. There’s a  reason Russia came back from Communism. You’ll scream for equality until you are equal. Then you will whine that what you then have is not enough to satisfy your needs. Stop pushing your hipster magazine-read judgements onto the world and start thinking for yourself.

…

Background to this rant is the soundtrack of Say Anything’s “Admit it!!” combined with a University newspaper article stating that Starbucks, despite a booming demand, is not welcome on the campus. I think a lot of the emotion in this piece is of a more muted nature, and mostly targeted at the newspaper. I found and find it very hypocritical that a newspaper purporting to represent the interests of the student majority publishes an article that suggests opinions shared only by a minority of its readership. Clearly, if Starbucks was hated on campus, there would be a very minimal amount of demand for its services, which is 100% not the case. True, location plays an important factor, yet, with a Union bar and café two minutes walk away, this excuse is greatly flawed. Much like purchasing branded clothing, buying Starbucks is an active participation in brand association. People want to be seen holding the fabled paper cups in the same way that chavs strive to achieve the heights of Burberry plaid.

As for the Russia comment, I have no idea where it came from. Please take it as a broad generalisation used to convey a point.

Personally, I have no disdain or direct pleasure for Starbucks. I like their coffee, I won’t lie. I don’t profess to be some kind of coffee purist. I just like drinking the stuff rather than appreciating it. I’m sure that it is possible to do so. But, in my opinion, doing so can be very hard to do without looking like an absolute douche. My wife once said at a meal that there are two things that if you know a lot about them, it is very hard not to look like an utter tw**. Those were wine and food. I’d like to add coffee to this list, along with pretty much everything in life. Sit back, relax and realise that, at the end of the day, it exists to serve a purpose rather than to be admired.

There’s a long way to go before I start hanging coffee on my wall.

…

That completes the two sectioned collection of rants that I wrote on the train. let me know what you made of their self importance!

careering off the road

Life sometimes likes to beat around the bush. I however don’t.

I want a job. I want a job that suits me. I want a job that I can enjoy, without it devouring my life inside out. I want a desk, a computer. I want to sit and type dribble. Or drivel. Generally I want to just show the world that I am probably worth paying some money.

It seems however, that in some overblown humongous conspiracy, that the world has a different plan. Mother Earth, in her wrath, has chosen to commit the mass population to a recession just to spurn my applications. She has spread viral influenza to pretend that she is trying to make it easier for me, but I know her game. She herself has been recruiting. She’s hired Fate. He’s trying to impress the new boss, and so Mother Earth and Fate have had a board meeting.

The agenda?

Will Rimmer’s career.

Mother Nature hammers the table. “This man must be stopped!”

She points at a file including pictures of a young male, who is dashing in a subtle way. (He’s also written that he’s confident, motivated and ambitious. Application forms…)

Fate humbly nods, picks up the phone and says simply “It’s on.” The boys acknowledge the message, and head to the cars.

Since that moment, I have had opportunities, but in Fate’s clasps, I have seemingly been a victim of the tides of employment (Waaah sympathy! Fret not, it’s not required).

I love German. I love writing. I’m a communicator. I’m punctual. Today? Oh, that was the M25′s fault. Apparently Fate decided to drive to the office via a very big fence in the middle of the road. (If you were the person that crashed, I hope you’re ok, but really? Today? There?).

That being said, I do enjoy attending interviews. The nosy Englishman inside me likes to look at how the offices have been decked out, how people interact, what they like people visiting to see. Of the places I’ve been to, Rockstar’s office was the most amazing. Although the signature by the door says that I cannot tell you about it, for fear of Tommy Vercetti turning up on my doorstep, knocking, then raping and shooting me. I don’t want to be shot. Or raped.

One thing I can never tell is how I perform. Aside from the whole Yes / No reply system, I can’t really gauge how I react in the moment. Today’s interview went well I think, but only if the secretary has a say in the recruitment process. Banter was had like no banter before. I love being connected to so many different countries on one continent. Europe is fantastic because there are so many different people and cultures sharing a space that is easily traversable. It’s joyous to meet and chat with people who have had experiences so different that E.T. would seem like a next door neighbour.

…

Career ranting aside, life goes well. I keep contemplating dreaming that a career in blogging is a real possibility. But of the sites that I’ve looked at so far, I’m not enthralled at the idea of paying to be paid. Sorry subscription services. Me no like.

Although joining BlogCatalog has been a real eye opener for me: I truly am small fry in the world of blogs and life documentation. There’s people on this site who’ve been doing this years, who have advertisements and awards for their blogs. What do I have? An all time high of 25 views on Tuesday. For me that was headline news. That’s more people reading my blog than real life friends contacting me (erm… is that a good thing?!). It also means that there are people other than my Mum reading this so thank you all (Ugh, and you too Mum, thank you).

Leave a comment now, and I’ll lend you cash when I’m famous.

…

And finally, in a swift Have I Got News For You-esque comedic type finale, my only remaining appointment today is with my wife’s coworkers and an oh-so-friendly pint of the local ale. For Fate and Mother Nature have chosen to allow me to earn a living.

By attending pub quizzes.

Wish me luck.